Two Wolves, One Shadow Page 25

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  A long time ago, James had come to the realisation that he would never be able to measure up to Pete. The boy was great at so many things that it was impossible to compete with him, so why bother. Instead, James took to daydreaming about exchanging places with Pete. In doing so, he was able to imagine himself in Pete’s shoes, and fantasize about what it would be like to have his outstanding qualities and abilities. In his daydreams, James would immerse himself completely in the role of Pete, to the point of overindulgence. The daydreaming would later morph into other fantasies. Living vicariously, James would project himself into the life of a rock musician, or maybe a world-class football star, or such.

  But, sooner or later, James’ inescapable shortcomings would confront him. Occasionally, this would lead to him making a half-hearted effort at self–improvement in an attempt to actualise his fantasy. On one of these occasions, seeing as he could throw stones so well, he decided to take up cricket. Having the correct gear effectively boosted his confidence; looking the part was vital. Expensive as that was for his parents, he was able to persuade them by relentless pestering. Hoping to encourage him to get out and make some friends, his mum and dad caved in to his demands. They spent a small fortune, but it was just too hard to keep his darn arm straight. He couldn’t muster the required accuracy and power. As for batting, well, he wasn’t much good at that either, lasting on average three balls before the bowler smashed the middle stump out of the ground. James lost heart quickly. No matter how good he looked in his kit, the reality was inescapable: he was useless at the game. Self-flagellation followed and then the daydreaming resumed until something new took his fancy.

  The daydreaming always ended too quickly, leaving James with the harsh reality of his life. Comfort would often follow in the form of chocolate, which temporarily helped soothe the feelings of dejection he was suffering, but ultimately made things worse. With a face full of zits, he was subjected to relentless ridicule and name-calling.